Since none of us really knows what tomorrow will bring, this moment is truly the only moment that matters. Anger we are holding toward ourselves, and others or toward the circumstances we find ourselves in blocks our ability to enjoy – and often, even to perceive the blessings, beauty and opportunities that surround us in every moment of our lives. As we usher in a brand new year, I invite you to declare that it’s high time to stop letting past hurts and anger dictate your experience, and to learn once and for all to forgive ourselves and others. Forgiveness is an inner choice that each of us must make within ourselves, and when we make the commitment to doing this “inner work,” our lives change and we begin to prosper in remarkable ways.
This process of forgiveness begins by first recognizing the places within yourself where you are still holding on to past hurts, resentments or grievances. A lot of times we “harbor” old wounds and stories without even realizing it. One way to discover if you are doing this is to notice if you routinely feel yourself reacting to certain people or situations with a degree of anger you didn’t even know you had in you, or that is disproportionate to the situation at hand. By making a commitment to pay greater attention to your feelings and emotions in the moment they arise, you give yourself the benefit of having time to consider what your reaction is really about – before you act on it. This is the secret to healing past hurts at their source. Let me give you an example that came up just the other day in a coaching session.
My client came to our phone appointment saying that she had come down with a horrible respiratory infection. After talking about it for a few minutes, she made the observation that she has had this same type of infection at the same time of year for the past five years in a row. As she realized this, I asked her what had been going on in her life five years ago, when it all started. She went on to explain that it was a time when she first realized that her ex-husband had been lying to her over and over again, for a period of many years, and this discovery was heartbreaking for her. She told me that she thought she had forgiven him, but the more she talked, the more apparent it became that she was still experiencing the pain of that event as if it was happening in the present moment. I explained that this is exactly what happens when we don’t take the time to heal the experiences that wound us; we continue to feel the pain of them in real-time. One thing that people don’t always realize is that healing comes in layers, and even though she has done forgiveness work around this, she hit a deeper layer. Hopefully this was her last layer.
I then went on to explain that the metaphysical causes of respiratory infections are correlated to having an irritation toward someone close, which can cause intense feelings of conflict and unresolved issues to surface. When I shared this with my client, she confirmed that it made complete sense to her, and could see how the emotional pain was at the root of her physical pain. We talked through the past situation one more time, and then I led her in a powerful meditative healing exercise that I call my 90/90 process.
I instructed her to close her eyes and to begin breathing deeply and more consciously, and then guided her into a meditative state. Once she felt calm and safe, we began to journey back in time, five years to when the incident first occurred. Almost immediately my client began to cry and cry. She said that she felt the pain primarily in her chest area, and described it as a black heavy mass. I had her sit with the pain for 90 seconds, and as she did, she felt the pain begin to lessen, taking on a lighter and lighter hue of grey. We then asked for Divine Love to enter her body, heart and mind, and to fill with light the places in her body the where the old wound was stored. As she sat in the presence of that Divine love for 90 seconds, the whole mass dissipated and a beautiful and peaceful feeling entered her body. As she came out of the healing meditation, she said, “Wow I felt different. I feel lighter. I feel like I can breathe deeply again and even my eyes feel clearer.”
I explained to her that even though we as human beings are made up of flesh, bone and what looks like solid matter, at the basis of all of this is energy. When painful things happen in our lives and we don’t fully deal with them, they can becomes “stuck” in our body-mind as a kind of dark energy inside of us. Often, this obstruction of the free flow of energy is what leads to “dis-ease” our bodies. Doing inner work like the process I guided her through is one way to release this stuck energy and clear and balances us in mind, body and spirit, allowing us to go forth and create the happiness and abundance we desire in all aspects of our lives.
Life is just too short to not pay attention to the deeper causes of whatever aches, pains or uneasiness you are feeling – whether those symptoms present as emotional or physical. As the momentum of 2017 is just getting rolling, decide for yourself that you deserve to reap the benefits of working with an experienced life coach who can facilitate the release any remnants of “stuck” energy inside of you. Tools like the 90/90 process can help you let go of negative attachments to the past, freeing you to move through life in a healthier, more self-expressed and abundant way.
Jeanne Provost is the founder of Living Well Life Coaching based in Portland, Oregon. As a life coach and certified hypnotherapist, she supports women and men in realizing their full potential and creating abundance in all areas of their lives. To learn more about her work, visit her at www.livingwelllifecoaching.com.